tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5756262226942895865.post5775421292411071885..comments2023-05-25T05:48:09.934-04:00Comments on Drawing Saudade: A long winded story to re-start this project.Drawing Saudadehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01291343551623385769noreply@blogger.comBlogger175125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5756262226942895865.post-31991049199898905332013-01-25T16:13:31.995-05:002013-01-25T16:13:31.995-05:00Came across your blog from NotMom and a few other ...Came across your blog from NotMom and a few other sources. First thing I have to say - your drawings are fantastic! I find the small stories/character descriptions particularly delightful. I don't often encounter sketches that so provoke the imagination; yours seem to illustrate particular scenes in stories that I half find myself resenting not knowing. <br /><br />Second - a realization I've come to after my own health struggles and small series of anguish is that - and I wonder if you'll agree - yes, the hurting and the sick and the constant parade of Things Being Wrong is bad. But possibly more painful and worse to go through is the healing, especially mentally. Something happened, and now you must get past it and move on and reconcile what happened with going back to your life (or what life has now become) and through all of this time has the audacity to keep moving along and expecting you to keep up. <br /><br />...but that is what family and friends and good pastries and indignant cats are for, and eventually you get used to the healing, and it gets easier almost to the point where it is routine, like putting on your slippers in the morning, "yes, this happened; yes, I can still breathe; yes, I know how to deal with this; yes, I can work through my day and this will not dictate all thoughts." Eventually it's almost rote, like a prayer you've said so many times that it's mostly just a rhythm, and you stumble when you try to pick out the individual words. Scars never heal. They might fade, but the skin is still different underneath; mental ones are the same. But eventually you get used to them, and they're familiar, and you expect to find them there, for better or for worse.Karinnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5756262226942895865.post-80272009912868830052012-09-25T09:40:12.735-04:002012-09-25T09:40:12.735-04:00Hi, :) My name is Natalie and I was patched throug...Hi, :) My name is Natalie and I was patched through to your post via Epbot. I am still fighting back tears at your story and as a medical professional (I'm a nurse) I can tell you that your story has struck a chord with me... I have worked with so many nurses and doctors that are exactly like you described, jaded, deaf, uncaring... it broke my heart to read all that you went through with the ones who were like that. But I am also glad that you did have some good ones, some who actually see this profession as a calling, and not just as a way to make money. Your story will forever be etched in my mind, and I just wanted to let you everyone who may read this, there those of us out there that do care, and all we ever want is to see you walk (get wheeled? ^_^) out our hospital's doors with a big smile on your face.<br />Thank you for your story, it has been a heartfelt lesson for me as a nurse.<br />God bless you and your husband always!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5756262226942895865.post-7572400189065242382012-08-22T22:02:22.495-04:002012-08-22T22:02:22.495-04:00I came to this blog post from Epbot and I have to ...I came to this blog post from Epbot and I have to admit, when I was reading I was horrified and sickened by everything you went through. I understand depression, and I understand your way of thinking about being a good girl and not causing any trouble, I too have this mentality. I think I am still in shock after reading your story- but wow how strong you are! You know, your body and mind are two pieces of a great puzzle- and sometimes no matter how badly your mind wants your body to be right, it doesn't happen that way. I'm sorry that you never had the chance to bring a new life into the world, but I can say that you definitely were a good mom and did the best that you could to take care of yourself and the life, not only once but twice. <br />You were so strong and brave even during your hard times, and you wanted your husband to not be sad even when you were in ICU. Hearing that makes me know that you are one of the strongest, bravest, most compassionate people I have ever had the chance to meet, even however briefly through a blog.<br />In times of near death- I find the recovery process can be quite arduous, but you become so much stronger for it. I am so glad to see you drawing again- and your art is simply awe-inspiring and amazing.<br /><br />I hope that you get the chance to read this and remember that every single day is a brand new day, and every moment that passes is a moment you become stronger. I wish you all the best in your life and I also wish that you have the greatest happiness, you deserve it! <br /><br />Take care! indimewnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5756262226942895865.post-58409962872197340772012-08-19T20:48:16.716-04:002012-08-19T20:48:16.716-04:00As a nurse I started to think of what could be wro...As a nurse I started to think of what could be wrong from your first symptoms. I am angered that this treatment happened to you. I am appalled and embarrassed that the physician and trained OB nurses did not listen or take you seriously. An ultrasound could have answered many questions. I am not one to say sue the heck out of them as a matter of course, but I hope you are going to sue the crap out of the doctor, nurses and hospital for incompetence. <br /><br />I want to add that I am so sorry for your losses. I am also impressed with your strength and the strength of your marriage.katinkshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04254323929996777505noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5756262226942895865.post-68968620418730199302012-08-16T03:30:05.660-04:002012-08-16T03:30:05.660-04:00Thank you so very much for sharing your heart wren...Thank you so very much for sharing your heart wrenching story. I am in awe of your strength and determination. I know that I would not have been able to be as strong in a similar situation.<br /><br /> It doesn't change anything you're gone through, but I'm sorry that such an awful thing happened to you. And I hope very much that things only get better from here on. <br /><br />Keep drawing.Makirhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14507375883721139758noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5756262226942895865.post-63393958411944105382012-08-15T10:35:56.060-04:002012-08-15T10:35:56.060-04:00I just wanted to add my hugs and best wishes in wi...I just wanted to add my hugs and best wishes in with the rest of your readers. While I've never had an experience like your's - I have been on the receiving end for many years asking why we never had kids. 10 years of fertility treatments and it never got easier. Thank you for your courage - you are amazing. I now have to go fix my make up since I was reading your story at work.Katyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00690014603608539457noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5756262226942895865.post-51506599601173048842012-08-14T15:33:36.851-04:002012-08-14T15:33:36.851-04:00Was humbled to read your story, after seeing your ...Was humbled to read your story, after seeing your beautiful "doodle" on Epbot. I hope that each day you take a moment to acknowledge the courage you possess. And talent, I hope you never silence yourself or your talent again. Thank you for sharing your story. Good luck and may the future hold boundless good health and happiness for you. Xo LWAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5756262226942895865.post-73915757422690517822012-08-13T19:23:37.560-04:002012-08-13T19:23:37.560-04:00My heart hurts and aches for the pain and loss you...My heart hurts and aches for the pain and loss you had to go through. And to blame yourself while going through all this?! I'm so glad you don't feel that way again! I hope the ray of sunshine that led you to drawing again stays with you and continues to encourage you to share your beautiful art with us.Rosanoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5756262226942895865.post-17801131333962976112012-08-12T23:56:45.929-04:002012-08-12T23:56:45.929-04:00Another Epbot reader here. Thank you for sharing y...Another Epbot reader here. Thank you for sharing your story and encouraging us to speak up when we know something i not right with our bodies. I just read your other posts and am so glad you are feeling like sketching again. You have a wonderful gift. I especially like your vinyl Day of the Dead mouse. I have subscribed to your posts and am excited to see what you will share with us in the future.TariCnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5756262226942895865.post-41196022425634341172012-08-12T21:22:55.612-04:002012-08-12T21:22:55.612-04:00Thank you for posting this and getting it off your...Thank you for posting this and getting it off your chest! I nearly bawled to be honest and I wish I could help you out somehow. I'm definitely subscribing to your blog so I can follow your 365 days of drawings. Please keep drawing and keep fighting!Cerahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06156265917115202196noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5756262226942895865.post-51470140006347690192012-08-12T21:00:38.776-04:002012-08-12T21:00:38.776-04:00Hi! I'm over from Epbot.
I'm so, so sorry...Hi! I'm over from Epbot.<br /><br />I'm so, so sorry for what you went through, and I'm really glad you finally realized that you don't need to punish yourself for something that was beyond your control.<br /><br />Sending a smile your way!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5756262226942895865.post-30449137036808667552012-08-12T17:06:08.521-04:002012-08-12T17:06:08.521-04:00There are 4 people in this house in St Pete who lo...There are 4 people in this house in St Pete who love you up to the stars and don't think you ever failed at anything! I am so glad you are focusing on loving you & trusting you. This was so very heartwrenching to read. It's awful that someone with a heart as huge as yours - not to mention "Mr. Saudade" - had to go through this. Love and hugs from the Darrows!!!Running Bettyhttp://www.runningbetty.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5756262226942895865.post-90209835129215986952012-08-11T10:32:19.219-04:002012-08-11T10:32:19.219-04:00Decades ago, a midwife I was introduced to sociall...Decades ago, a midwife I was introduced to socially (who was also an intuitive), said to me immediately--almost without acknowledging the introduction-- that she had seen several women with my coloring have problems with dangerously hemorrhaging following giving birth, and should I ever decide to become pregnant I should be very careful.<br /><br />Many reasons contributed in deciding against having a child, but seeing the many women with worse health challenges than my own go through major difficulties in order to bear their children sometimes made me feel like a "wimp". After reading your story, though, I see both that while following that original warning may have saved my life, I also stayed in denial about the sense of failure that it engendered.<br /><br />Sharing your story is a gift to so many of us, and I am one more person who has been blessed by the healing in it.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5756262226942895865.post-40207633242478298602012-08-11T00:47:46.129-04:002012-08-11T00:47:46.129-04:00I don't even have words...but I do have love. ...I don't even have words...but I do have love. Much, much love for you and your husband. May bright, happy days color your future.Sarahhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04492731241985234445noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5756262226942895865.post-19787157690795125872012-08-10T22:38:14.248-04:002012-08-10T22:38:14.248-04:00I was going to leave a longer comment, but it just...I was going to leave a longer comment, but it just kept getting longer... and longer... and longer...<br /><br />So instead, please hug your husband for me. Give him a kiss. Tell him you love him. No one should have to go through any of this.<br /><br />You are also the perfect example of why no one should ever assume anything about another person. People are always so ready to judge or comment on another person's life, but they forget that one person can never really understand everything about the next.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5756262226942895865.post-74057962173658018402012-08-10T18:09:56.695-04:002012-08-10T18:09:56.695-04:00No words just love <3No words just love <3Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5756262226942895865.post-74403507754028472412012-08-10T16:42:10.405-04:002012-08-10T16:42:10.405-04:00I really can't think of any words that do just...I really can't think of any words that do justice to what I just read here, but felt I needed to acknowledge that I was touched by your story and know it is one that will stay with me. I'm so glad you are drawing again <3Lia joyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12795882304547114044noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5756262226942895865.post-19247372288620690202012-08-10T14:34:02.444-04:002012-08-10T14:34:02.444-04:00I am so sorry that this has happened to you. I do...I am so sorry that this has happened to you. I don't really know what to say. You never deserved to be punished. No one does, but bad things happen to good people anyway. We all trust doctors and nurses. They are authority figures and we don't want to second guess them. But they are also just people and that means they can be as good or as bad as anyone. I've learned over the years that if I go to a doctor once I don't feel absolutely comfortable then I go to someone else. Your story tells me how important that really is, at least when you have a choice. I'm happy for you now, that you are alive and that you have allowed yourself to do the thing that makes you happy. You deserve to find happiness. Keep drawing and keep moving on.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5756262226942895865.post-56694197320090257972012-08-10T14:13:30.495-04:002012-08-10T14:13:30.495-04:00"A year of joy for every minute of sorrow&quo..."A year of joy for every minute of sorrow"....<br />Between the tears from your story and the tears from everyone's comments, I have to stop before the neighbors complain of flooding -- but I think that comment said what we all seem to agree upon -- thank you for your bravery, both in surviving (cuz heaven knows you weren't getting much help with that at times!!) and in sharing, for the benefit of others, as well as yourself. <br />May you truly have "a year of joy for every minute of sorrow".Alex Dreamznoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5756262226942895865.post-2026376633472966152012-08-10T00:38:09.963-04:002012-08-10T00:38:09.963-04:00Please keep drawing. Your work is beautiful.
Mau...Please keep drawing. Your work is beautiful.<br /><br />MaureenMaureenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12586169655568045037noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5756262226942895865.post-8700684480504503072012-08-10T00:31:34.897-04:002012-08-10T00:31:34.897-04:00Like so many people I followed a link on epbot her...Like so many people I followed a link on epbot here, and I'm so glad I did.<br />I'm so sorry for every thing that happened to you, your story touched me very profoundly, it is terrifying and inspiring at the same time. I'm a 28 year old newly wed, and while my body seems to be alright to have children, I know it isn't and I know I will most likely never be a mom. You, my dear girl, helped me be ok with that. I know how much it stinks having people ask when you're gonna have kids all the time, and the berating it brings when you say that they are not a part of your future. My hear aches for you on so many levels and I wish I could give you the biggest hug ever. To make you feel better and let you know you are not alone, and to also thank you for your courage and strength. I can't imagine how hard it was to write your story. So from the bottom of my heart, THANK YOU! my dear, for all of it. For letting me know I'm not alone, and letting me know it's ok to stand up for myself, because let's face it, we know our bodies the best of every one. I can not wait to see the beautiful drawings you make this year, and to watch your talent grow. I will be back many times...so thank you for that.<br />Jessica MarieJessicaMariehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17185378964824547336noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5756262226942895865.post-12781320044501244992012-08-09T23:25:30.615-04:002012-08-09T23:25:30.615-04:00I have come here via EPBOT like so many others.
T...I have come here via EPBOT like so many others.<br /><br />Thank you for sharing your story. Like so many others, I cried as your words resonated through me. My heart hurts for the loss and grief that you and your husband share. Your strength in sharing your story inspires me.<br /><br />I hope for the two of you all the happiness that you can handle for many long years to come.<br /><br />Cyber hugs for both of you.Suzannehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09147175142792832463noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5756262226942895865.post-47931110790421915642012-08-09T22:10:02.008-04:002012-08-09T22:10:02.008-04:00Wow, thank you so much for sharing our story! I w...Wow, thank you so much for sharing our story! I was linked to your blog through a friend's facebook page. I felt like I was right beside you taking that journey with you as your husband did. You are such a talented writer. I admire your strength my friend! Here's to a new journey :)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5756262226942895865.post-36909335579613488322012-08-09T20:17:30.956-04:002012-08-09T20:17:30.956-04:00Thank you for sharing your story. I am very passiv...Thank you for sharing your story. I am very passive when at the doctors, and this has made me rethink the way I approach doctors when I am uncomfortable. You are incredibly strong, and I admire you.<br /><br /> You are truly talented, and I am excited to see what you will create.<br /><br />Thank you.Natshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05398603336514528691noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5756262226942895865.post-9506826284623477992012-08-09T18:46:12.354-04:002012-08-09T18:46:12.354-04:00Here via Epbot.
What a horrible experience to go ...Here via Epbot.<br /><br />What a horrible experience to go though. I can't even begin to imagine how it was for you. I'm appalled (but unfortunately not surprised) by your treatment at the hands of so-called healthcare "professionals".<br /><br />Thank you for posting your story. Best of luck on your continued healing and your artwork.Kimmiehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10859152228977631331noreply@blogger.com